Posted in Life

Why Him?

If you talk to anyone who has known me for any length of time, they’ll tell you that things in my world have changed drastically over the past 6 months.  Nearly every day, I’ll say something and one of my friends will say, “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”  These are the people who have heard me make excuses about not saying yes to a second date.  These people have heard me say that I didn’t think I’d ever share space with another adult again.  These people have heard me talk about how being single was going to be a life choice that would last until the day I die.  They’d tell you how I didn’t think there was anyone out there for me, because every time I tried, I couldn’t wait to get my space back.  They’d probably tell you that I was jaded and uninspired when it comes to love.  They’d also probably tell you that it made them sad to hear those things, but understand they were all born of shitty experiences and settling and never really feeling content with whatever it was that was going on in my life.

In the blink of an eye, that all changed.  Now, I’m sold on the fact that I’ve found that one person who gets me.  I want him to get me.  I want him to keep getting me.  I want to plan life and the future and all of it involves him.  I don’t even imagine a scenario that he’s not a part of.  It’s only natural that some want to know what changed, what happened, why him?  Well, I’ve been searching for the words and I probably still don’t have them.  But I’m going to try anyway, because it’s important.

Why him?

Have you seen him?  OMG look at him.  OK, wait, that’s got nothing to do with it.  It’s icing on the perfect cake, really.

Why him?

Because for the first time ever, I don’t feel like I have to explain every last little thing about myself.  It’s not that he’s not interested, it’s that he understands before I can even finish my thought.

Why him?

Because he says the right things at all the right times.  It can be a sincere compliment.  It can be a thought about the future.  It can be encouragement.  It can be just about anything at all, and it’s like he instinctively knew it was exactly what I needed in that moment.

Why him?

Because when he says the wrong things, he owns them.  When I say the wrong things, he’s patient with me.  And we talk about it all.  We talk openly and honestly, even when things are difficult.

Why him?

Because he talks about the future, and when he does, it’s not an “if” statement, but a “when”.  He’s so absolute and unwavering. That makes me check my regular pessimistic tendencies at the door, at least as much as I can.  He pulls me through the rest of the way, and I know when I’m not-so-optimistic, just talking to him for five minutes on any subject cuts right through that bullshit.

Why him?

Because he’s the only one who has ever shared all of himself openly and honestly without my having to ask a million questions and pry.

Why him?

Because we communicate so well with each other that it’s hard to imagine not having him as a constant in my life.  I can’t even think about not having his input on anything of importance in my life.

Why him?

Because he accepts me exactly how I am and he thinks it’s a beautiful package deal. He doesn’t want me to be anything else other than what I already am, and that makes me want to be better at all of it.

Why him?

Because he makes me feel valued and important.  He makes me feel respected and deserving of good things.  He makes me feel loved.

Why him?

Because he’s really smart, really funny, and really kind.  We debate, we laugh, we love.  He’s opinionated as hell and while his opinions may be very different from mine, he’s never tried to make me feel terrible about that.  He can debate his points fluently and logically, hear mine and respect them.  Yin and Yang have nothing on us.

Why him?

Because he’s everything no one else has ever been.  He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in someone else.  He’s not any of the things I’ve ever had and been disappointed with.  He’s my happy place.  He’s my safe place.  He’s everywhere I want to be, whenever I want to be there.

Why him?

Because he took a chance where no one else ever did.  He put it all out there, took it when I put mine out there, and he doesn’t see a need to look back.

Why him?

Because I just feel it with him. It’s right and it’s beautiful.

Why him?

Because I love him.  That’s why.



Mom - Check! Multiple Sclerosis awareness fanatic - Check! Total Dork - Check!

4 thoughts on “Why Him?

    1. Thank you, Martha. It really feels just about perfect. Now, we just have to get through the next couple months of distance and the really good stuff gets to start!

  1. I can attest to your transformation. And it’s all for the better. I am happy to follow you through all the steps ahead.

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