Posted in Humor, Life

Coffee Everywhere

Coffee-Beans-Wallpapers1

I decided that I wouldn’t write on the weekends. I will do my little TV watching and writing for that entertainment website I told you about earlier. I’ll learn things and try things and keep notes so I can have a little bank of sorts. That way if I get really sick or something, I’ve got some things lined up to share.

I’ve really been missing my favorite bartenders from a little place I used to go to near my house. They’ve all left there and are scattered around here and there, so I made it my plan this weekend to find at least one of them, and go see a friendly face. I had to drive pretty far to see him, but seeing Matt for a bit made it worth my while. Next weekend, I’m going to go back up there because he’ll be working with another of my favorites, Brandon. They can serve me coffee, I’ll tip like I’m spending the day drinking beer, and it’ll be a winning situation. Maybe I’ll convince one or both to go have a beer after they’re done working.

 

LEARN

It is said that coffee, as a drink for human consumption, began in Ethiopia. A goat herder, possibly named Kaldi, noticed his goats would not sleep at night after eating berries from certain trees. He told the abbot from the local monastery about the way the goats behaved. So, the abott got some of the “berries” (coffee beans, presumably) and made a drink with them. And do you know what happened? It kept him awake and energized on the evenings when he had to sit up and pray all night. So, there you have it. Coffee made religion less likely to put the monks to sleep. Yes, I went there.   Now go read about the history of my second favorite beverage, coffee! http://www.ncausa.org/About-Coffee/History-of-Coffee

 

TRY

Well, I tried a couple of things over the weekend, mostly things like going to the bar at Kroger on Saturday before grocery shopping. I didn’t get a seat, because it was packed full. Apparently, in my area the Kroger bar is the place to be on a Saturday afternoon. Instead, I shopped, went home and opened a beer that was in my fridge. Hellrazer IPA by DuClaw. It’s got an ABV of 7.5%, but it really didn’t taste like an IPA at all. I rated it like a 3.25 on Untappd, but it really wasn’t anything I’d go out of my way to find.

IMG_20160227_185716

While I was shopping, I ran across something that combined two other things I like a lot – coffee and yogurt. Dannon makes a coffee flavored lowfat yogurt. This is not that “lite” yogurt, where they give you fake sugar and what not. This is your standard lowfat yogurt with all of the sugary goodness you’d come to expect. Sort of.

IMAG1162

Here was my logic (and yes, I had to apply logic in order to be able to purchase just one container of this yogurt). I LOVE coffee, and I do mean I LOVE coffee. I put ½ and ½ in my coffee, but I’ll use regular old 2% milk if I’m out. This is made with 1.5% milk, so it’ll be similar to coffee, right? WRONG.

I cannot begin to tell you my disappointment when I first opened this container. Now I’m used to stirring my yogurt, but the top of this container seemed to be mostly water. I figured it made sense – coffee is made with water. So, I checked the expiration date (March 25, 2016), stirred it well and then…I smelled it.

If there’s one thing I learned from Stephen at beer school, it’s that if you’re going to taste something, you should smell it first.  Much of your sense of taste comes from the associated scent.  As an aside, you probably want to do this with EVERYTHING you’re going to put in your mouth for the first time. Just saying. Anyhow. It smells like… plain yogurt. Huh. So I taste it, expecting the vibrant taste of well-creamed coffee to fill my mouth.

IMAG1164

Now, I have to tell you this before I go on. I have had a lot of things in my mouth, most of which I sort of knew what I was getting before hand. I knew what the texture would be and, for the most part, the taste. Sure, there are some variations depending on fruit, salt and alcohol content, but the basic texture and feel in your mouth is the same, regardless. Back to the yogurt.

I put the first spoonful in my mouth and realize that this coffee flavored yogurt tastes just like plain yogurt, with a special something at the end. My tongue was disappointed. But wait! There’s this aftertaste! Is it? Could it be the coffee flavor I was looking for? Why does my mouth feel dry? Why don’t I taste coffee?   Fucking hell, this may very well be the worst thing I’ve ever had in my mouth, and I was married to a guy who rarely ate fruit. That’s how you know this is bad.

Not willing to give up completely, I decided the next best thing is to add something to it. You know how you can add flavored lube to a dick and have it taste like strawberries and rainbow kisses? I added some actual coffee to this bitch. And…

I didn’t think it was possible to make this worse, but I did it. It’s like if a guy was wearing a condom then took it off and you put your mouth on that man sausage, you’re still going to taste that latex, even if it was “luscious berry flavored”. True story.   I’m going to add more coffee and…

Holy shit balls, this is like soup. A disgusting, baby-poop colored soup that tastes like every disappointment you’ve ever had in your life mixed with the goodness of milk, sugar, and something that may have once resembled coffee, molded and pressed into a dry-tasting pile of shit in a cup and stamped with the misleading label of “COFFEE”. It is the fruit roll-up of the strawberry world, but the generic version that is sitting on a shelf for a couple of years.  You don’t want that inside of you.  Just like a few of the guys I’ve “dated”.  I use “dated” here the way Dannon used “Coffee” on this label.  It’s not really accurate, but it’s what people want to hear.

I thought maybe if I sucked it through a straw it would help, but that really didn’t work and now I’ve got this mouthful of really soupy, dry tasting bullshit yogurt in my mouth and I keep telling myself, “You just need to swallow it and it’ll all be over.” That’s how I got through the last half of my marriage and that’s how I got through that last attempt to make something out of this tub of crap.

Yeah, so that’s a no. I’ll keep my coffee straight up, thank you.  Tell me something “coffee flavored” that really IS coffee flavored and I’ll love you forever.  Maybe.  I mean, forever is a really long time and if I didn’t give birth to you, it’s really likely that I’ll just “love you long time.”

Advertisements
Posted in Life

Violence and Disappointment? Hell yeah!

 

dd25bdb7b8d6c56638a76b4ed2548910

I was a huge fan of the TV show, “Sons of Anarchy”. Was may not be the right word, because I really still am. I loved the people in it, the characters, the story. I was seriously depressed when it ended and felt like I had been cheated out of a few more seasons of hot biker fantasies playing out on my television. I am the proud owner of every season of SoA on BluRay and I’ve watched all 7 seasons at least 4 times, often having weekend marathons where I’m lucky if I get 2 hours of sleep because I just can’t shut it off.  Seeing Charlie Hunnam’s ass is worth missing a few hours of sleep.  Sex & violence were rampant in that show.  It ended in disappointment.  Story of my life.

Not only did I really love the show itself, but it opened me up to a whole bunch of music that I fell in love with. There are several songs that come on and take me right back to what was happening in the show when the song was playing. One of those is “Coal War” by Joshua James. Season 4, Episode 1: The guys are getting their shit together to get out of jail. Jax has a new haircut! Here’s a link to that opening, because you should see what I see in my head:

Watch and listen, because you can

Now, you listen to the song and I’m going to tell you about an interesting thing I learned yesterday related to the coal wars.

LEARN

Around the turn of the century, coal mining was huge in America.  As with most commodities that requires good people to work hard for next to nothing while the parent company gets rich, there were labor disputes.  Shocking, I know.  Now, the workers had quite enough of shitty pay for dangerous work and would strike and sometimes riot.  The big coal companies often used private detective companies to keep union organizers out of the area and break up any strikes.  This was done by any means necessary, including murder.

One such agency was the Baldwin-Felts Detective Agency out of Roanoke, VA.  Now, these guys were real fuckers, using machine guns and brutal tactics to “persuade” people to get in line.  In 1912, the miners in Paint Creek Union were working on negotiating a new contract with the operators.  Their demands were pay equal to those miners in surrounding communities and some basic human rights issues.

This didn’t go well and the resulting conflict between the Paint Creek and Cabin Creek coal miners and the Baldwin-Felts thugs would go down in history as one of the bloodiest labor disputes in West Virginia History.  You can read about it here.

Out in Colorado, the bullies were the National Guard.  They set out to evict miners from a tent colony in Colorado called Ludlow.  They entered the tent colony on the morning of April 20, 1914 and opened fire with machine guns, aiming at anyone they saw moving.

During the fighting, women and children dug pits to escape the shooting.  However, that evening, the National Guard came in and set fire to the camp.  In one pit, two women and eleven children were discovered.  You can read bout the Ludlow Massacre here.

I got totally lost in the stories of the Coal Wars yesterday, as you can tell.  There was so much I wanted to share with you, but in the interest of brevity (too late, bitch) I’ll stop here.  But look it up.  Click all of the links.  People were assholes then and they’re assholes now.  Patterns of violence that have repeated themselves through history and they’re just going to continue because, yep, assholes.
TRY

Among my many vices, one of the ones I’m trying to dump this year is smoking.  The last time I quit, it was relatively easy for me.  I started with cutting out the ones I didn’t think I could do without – that first one in the morning, the one after each meal and the one right before bed.  My thought then was that if I could replace those moments with something else, not smoking the rest of the time would be easier.  It worked that first time and I actually had quit for 2 years and never even missed it.

So last night, I’m getting ready for bed when I realized I hadn’t tried anything.  Well, there’s no time like the present.  I figured I’d try skipping that last smoke before bed.  I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and climbed into bed.  I read for a few minutes, turned out the light and tried to sleep.  For some reason, I started the self-sabotage process.  “Why are you denying yourself this one comfort?  It’s the end of the day.  You worked hard.  You were a superstar mom.  No one is going to pat you on the back other than you.  Why not just have that one thing that you enjoy?  Come on, get out of bed.  Put on your fuzzy pants and jacket.  Go outside and have a smoke.  You earned it.  It’s not like you’ve got someone to snuggle up to who would complain…”  And just like that, my trying ended.  I stood outside being angry at myself, but enjoying that smoke.  I’ll try that one again sometime, but not this week.  It may sound awful, but it’s the one thing I can depend on.  Well, that and masturbation. Because people were assholes then and and they’re  assholes now.  Patterns of disappointment that have repeated themselves through history and they’re just going to continue because, yep, assholes.

See what I did there?

Posted in Life

I Am Wonder Woman Because Beer

 

I don’t mean to brag, but I was cos-playing before cos-playing was cool. Many Saturday afternoons in the late 70s, my older sister and I would dress up as our favorite TV show characters and play.  One of our favorites was Charlie’s Angels, but we’d usually wind up arguing over who got to be Kelly or Sabrina. No, we didn’t want to be Jill, because neither of us had blonde hair. However, my favorite character to dress up as was Wonder Woman. We’d wait patiently every week to see what kind of trouble Wonder Woman, played by Lynda Carter, would break up with her fabulous boobs and Lasso of Truth and then we’d make up our own scenarios and act them out. I suppose you could say that not only were we into cos-play, but we were also pretty big on fan fiction.

The difference between then and now is that we didn’t spend hundreds of dollars to get the costume just right. We often just wore whatever we had laying around, except when we played Wonder Woman. It was on those occasions that I would break out my Wonder Woman Underoos and use a winter scarf as my Lasso of Truth.

youth-wonder-waman

LEARN

In 1915, William Moulton Marston constructed one of the first versions of the polygraph, that measured blood pressure after people were questioned, noting that when one would lie, there would be a slight rise in blood pressure. This was expanded upon in the 20s by John Larson, who is given credit for inventing the modern polygraph. Stick with me here.

In 1941, Marston was a psychologist, was living with his wife in New York. They sly devil also had a mistress and children by both women – sneaky bastard. He was interested in the women’s suffrage movement. Feeling that comic books were filled with too much violence and dominated by strong, male characters, Marston created (you guessed it) Wonder Woman.

One of the most intriguing pieces of this character is that when she is bound in chains by men, Wonder Woman loses all of her powers.  This is an incredible statement relating directly to women’s suffrage movement and if you don’t believe me:

 

Left: “This 1912 drawing by Lou Rogers printed in Judge magazine shows how women used chains in the aftermath of the Civil War as a symbol of how they had not been fully emancipated. Courtesy of University of Michigan Library”.  Right: “This pen-and-ink drawing by Harry G. Peter appeared in Marston’s article Why 100,000 Americans Read Comics in American Scholar in 1943-44.  Courtesy of Harvard College Library”
Taken from:  http://www.npr.org/2014/10/27/359078315/the-man-behind-wonder-woman-was-inspired-by-both-suffragists-and-centerfolds

 

It’s also interesting to note that one of her powers comes from The Lasso of Truth, used to tie up the bad guys and get them to spill their guts. I wonder if it had a blood pressure detector in it.

 

 

TRY

I promised I would try a new beer last night. The severe storms and tornado warnings last night kept me home, but I had a great selection in my fridge. I decided since I was only going to have one beer that I would make it count. I fumbled through the bottles in the make-your-own-six-pack boxes and came up with this beauty:

index

Dark Penance by Founders Brewing Co.  My own damn picture of the actual beer I drank.

Founders is out of Michigan and is one of my favorite breweries. I love their Porter and their All Day IPA, so I was pretty sure I couldn’t go wrong here. Dark Penance is an Imperial Black IPA. What does this mean? I figured I’d go straight to the brewery to answer this: “Dark Penance starts with a heavy malt foundation of Crystal malt for sweetness and just enough Midnight Wheat to push the color to black. The bitterness is huge (100 IBUs huge), but balanced by malt sweetness and alcohol burn. The hop flavors and aromas range from citrus to floral to pine—most everything that hops can be—thanks to a delicious blend of hand-selected Chinook and Centennial hops. The Imperial Black IPA is 8.9% ABV.” — http://foundersbrewing.com/latest-news/2014/announcing-dark-penance-imperial-black-ipa/

I took the first drink and as I did, it started raining harder than it had all night. DARK PENANCE WAS HERE. My salvation would be found in beer. We were under a tornado warning and the sky was this weird greenish color. But it was only 5:45 and the weather alert said the tornado wouldn’t be near my area until 6:05, so I figured I had time to drink. At first taste, it was incredibly bitter and I thought that I couldn’t possibly drink this beer in 15 minutes. I glanced outside and the rain was suddenly gone, the winds calm and I thought, “oh shit, the tornado is really coming,” and suddenly my mouth was happy with the flavor and the bitterness faded into maltiness that made me think that I just needed more, so I drank more.

By the by, the tornado got to us earlier than expected, and at about 5:55, we were hanging out in the bathtub, my kid with his laptop, me with my Founders.  Both enjoying our favorite things, just in case this was the end. After all, I’m on the top floor of my apartment building, so if the tornado was really coming here we were likely goners anyway.

Earlier, my son had asked me if he was taking cover in the bathtub and the entire building started shaking, what should he do. Because I am a parent based in realism, I answered, “Well, you start screaming. That’s all you can do.” For shits and giggles, when the wind was at its peak and we were sitting in the tub, I said, “Let’s scream. Just once.” So, we did. I finished that beer before leaving that bathtub and life returned to normal at about 6:10.

The tornado may not have touched down, but we had great mother-son bonding time, especially since he had just shit in that bathroom moments before we had to go in. This is my life.

Posted in Life

Trying to Learn, Learning to Try

Setting out on a year-long journey is never an easy task. You have all of these hopes & dreams along with a few fears. Will I be able to learn something new every day for a year? What if I don’t feel well?   What if I can’t think of anything new to try? What if I get swallowed up by a sink hole and can’t write about my experiences? Who will know where to find me? Who will keep my sex toys from being discovered by my family when they come to clean out my apartment? Come on now, this is going to be fun!

LEARN

27august_Learn_Something_New_Everyday_Number_2-s640x416-90200

This one was kind of difficult yesterday. Not because I don’t have a natural love of learning, or because I was disinterested in things around me. No, it was difficult because it was my birthday and I spent a lot of the day working, interacting with my friends on FaceBook and Twitter, having dinner with my son, helping with homework and getting things ready for the next day. So, when I climbed into the bathtub to enjoy a bubble bath on my big day, I grabbed my phone and actually thought, “what would I like to learn today?”
I couldn’t think of much until I started to shave my legs. Yes, single women who are not in any danger of having sex still shave their legs. It’s the other pieces they may neglect with a razor. So, I get through all of the shaving and as I’m washing my leg, I notice a spot that I missed. I pull it out of the water to clean up that one tiny place and I notice that suddenly, my entire leg is prickly again. SIGH All of that work, for what? And then it hits me. I now have to know: after shaving your legs, how on Earth does the hair start to grow back that quickly? In fact, every time I get a chill, I’m pretty sure that shit starts to grow immediately. It’s like one side of my brain has sent a message to my hair follicles that says, “This is it, ladies! A deep freeze is coming, so get your asses out there and protect that skin!” The other side is screaming, “Retreat! Retreat! She might get laid tonight! She needs that to be soft and smooth!”

 

When we get cold, we can get goosebumps, which are “caused by a contraction of miniature muscles that are attached to each hair. Each contracting muscle creates a shallow depression on the skin surface, which causes the surrounding area to protrude. The contraction also causes the hair to stand up whenever the body feels cold.” – from Scientific American (http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-humans-get-goosebu/) We inherited this phenomenon from our animal ancestors who needed it to help keep them warm with their built in fur coat AND to make themselves look bigger when threatened.

 

So, you’re in the warm water, which causes your skin to actually puff up a little bit, hiding the base of your hair follicle so you can’t possibly shave it off. Then you get out, that cool air hits you, BOOM – your skin goes back to normal, exposing that hair, goosebumps make it stand up and now you’ve got a 5 o’clock shadow on your legs, which is more like a 5 minute shadow, if we’re being honest.  Let’s hope the date has had enough to drink or doesn’t mind that you can deftly scratch his back without using your hands or your teeth.

What I learned wasn’t really about goosebumps or hair growth or animals, but that the proper way to shave and maintain that smoothness for a little bit is a combination of cooler water and a matching air temperature until you can put on something to keep you warm. And I was always taught to soak in a hot bath before shaving to soften the hair follicle. Liars.

TRY

 

459da180ca4b0aa6e5db66077c5a7350

(Incidentally – if you go for the Google image search and type in “trying something new”, be sure that safe filter is on, otherwise you’re going to be looking at pictures of anal penetration with dicks, feet, arms, a slotted spoon and a rolling pin.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

I love cheesecake. I could eat it as a meal, every meal, and die a happy woman. But I know as I’m getting older and that old metabolism starts slowing a bit, that if I eat all of the cheesecake all of the time, I’m going to need to invest in a whole lot of new pants. It should be noted that I hate pants. But I digress.

 

I decided that I would go with the “all things in moderation” theory. I decided I would try to eat only half of the piece of the double chocolate cheesecake that I bought for myself. I knew if I cut the piece in half and put half directly in the freezer, I’d likely have a better chance at succeeding. Then I reminded myself that trying sometimes involves failing, and wasn’t the point of this trying business just to see if I could do it?
So, I put the cake on my plate, walked out to the living room and…I ate that entire piece of cheesecake in under 5 minutes because it was oh my god slap your grandmother amazing. It was then that I realized that even failure tastes like pure goodness at times and I wished I had another piece.

 

I should note here that I had also tried mustard on a hot dog yesterday and that didn’t go well either. I’m not a fan of mustard to begin with and I really love hot dogs so I tried to marry the two. It was worse than when I tried to date that one guy who said he was 5’11” and turned out to be about 5’3” (shorter than me) and spent the entire brunch talking about his ex-girlfriend who was hit and killed by a semi. “Her name was XXXX and you can look this up online if you don’t believe me. Did I mention that I used to be a raging alcoholic and probably shouldn’t be drinking these mimosas right now?” I kept looking for a way out of the date, much like I was looking for extra napkins to wipe the mustard off of my hot dog. Some things just don’t mix.

Today, I haven’t decided what to learn yet, but I know I’m going to try a new beer tonight. Not sure what they’ll have on tap up at the Kroger Bar, but I’ll pick something I’ve never had before. Onwards and upwards (Harder! Faster! THAT’S IT! RIGHT THERE! OHGODYESYESYESYEEEESSSSS!)

Posted in Life

2.23.16

Since today is my birthday, I’m going to give myself a goal for this year of my life.  As I work toward completing 46 years on this planet, I’m going to set out to learn as much as I can, try new things and then document them here.  I’ll call this my year of learn, try, write.  Every day I will learn something new.  Every day I will try something new.  Every day I will write about what I got out of the previous day.  It’ll be the most boring thing anyone has ever done, but I don’t care.  I’ve never really been concerned with what other people think of my life.

Today, however, I’m just going to enjoy my birthday with a few random thoughts.

This statement I made earlier, because my friend asked me to remember it for later:  I was born in Wisconsin during an ice storm, so being frigid is my birthright.

This thought:  Would I rather have a sucky kiss from a significant other or a really amazing kiss from a stranger whom I’ll never see again?   Answer:  I’ll take the amazing kiss because life is too short to be kissed poorly.  Plus, I’m not sure I believe in happily ever after, at least not for me.  I’d rather search for something amazing than lose something mediocre, at best.  And this is a longer discussion than I have time for here in this space right now.

This song, because it is 100% me lyrically, and it’s really pretty sounding:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53GIADHxVzM

It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and it’s patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used to be
Although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl

She’s imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine

It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person
And makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew

Who’ll be reckless just enough
Who’ll get hurt but
Who learns how to toughen up when she’s bruised
And gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck and be scared
Of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day
‘Til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone but it used to be mine

Used to be mine
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine

SARA BAREILLES

 

And this link to what I write for a little entertainment website, in case you’re bored and give a shit what I think about TV.  I write it with my friend, Shawn.  I’m the T, he’s the A.  You figure that out.  http://cinemasentries.com/features/t-a/

That is all.  xo

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized

45

If you had asked 15-year-old me what my life would be like in 30 years, I would have probably painted you a picture of a single woman, no kids, living in a small cabin in the woods on a lake, somewhere in Northern Wisconsin. I would have told you that my favorite company would be my books and a few dogs and that I would be happy just being alive. Obviously, I would have been very wrong – except for the single part.

 

I don’t mind getting older. I think that the past 15 years or so have been the most interesting and educational. Marriage, parenthood, finishing college (at 40!), divorce, dating (and failing miserably), still parenting, being broke, being scared, finding my own footing, learning to like myself again, and being unapologetic for who I am. It’s a lot, so I’ll take it in smaller chunks and look at the past 5 years. I’ve learned way more about myself since leaving a shitty marriage and trying to rebuild a life on my own terms.

 

Here’s some of what I’ve learned:

 

  • If you are strong, people will think you’re a bitch. They’ll also think that you have no feelings. They will also fail to be there for you on most every level, maybe because they believe that you’ve got everything handled. Luckily I have a couple of really amazing friends who know better than to think that I walk through shit unscathed. I wouldn’t be anywhere without them and I know it. I know their value. I can’t fall apart in front of the world, but I can in front of those people and they will listen, tell me to get my shit together, and help me stand back up. Then, they’ll slap me on the ass and say, “go get ‘em tiger!”   It works for me.

 

  • Being a single parent is kind of amazing, but it also fucks you over. You’re always the good guy, but you’re also always the bad guy. You don’t have a whole lot of time for yourself and you don’t have a whole lot of time for other people. As far as being fulfilling because you’re working on raising an amazing human with a fantastic heart – CHECK! As far as fulfilling in that you get to have adult company, build new relationships and what-not? Not so much. I mean sure, if you’re the every-other-weekend parent you get to do that kind of shit, but not when you’re the 26-days per month parent. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve met some incredible people who I’ve had to let go because I simply didn’t have the time to give them much more. So while I’m rarely alone because of my son, I’m pretty fucking lonely most of the time. I get that’s what I signed up for when I left with my kid. But I don’t have to be content with it. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I can’t have it both ways, so for now I’ll take the parenting and enjoy other people as I can fit them in without destroying my balance.

 

  • I’ve learned that there are very few people in this world who actually mean what they say. It’s hard to speak your mind sometimes, because it very well might hurt someone’s feelings. You have to learn to do that with kindness. A little hurt up front is worth avoiding a shit-storm of hurt down the road. The other problem with this is that everyone assumes that you don’t mean what you say because no one else does. The old, “if a woman tells you nothing is wrong, you should run” is stereotypical bullshit, which proves my point. If a woman tells you nothing is wrong, she god damn well better mean that nothing is wrong. All of you bitches out there with the mixed signals really ruin things for those of us who don’t sugar coat that shit. I want – no, I NEED for my words to be taken at face-value. I don’t want people to fuck that all up anymore, and yet it’s always going to happen.

 

  • The most important thing in any kind of relationship – family, friends, intimate, whatever, is knowing how to set limits and how to enforce them. This actually goes with #3. So many people are surprised when I say, “if you do that shit again, I’m not going to be your friend anymore”, they do that shit again, and I walk away. Limits. Set them. Enforce them. Understand them. Don’t be an asshole.

 

  • You can be happy with your life, even if you’re lonely. You can be happy with your life if you go without sex. You can be happy with your life if you fail at a lot of the things you do. You can be happy with your life if you’re broke. But you can’t be happy if you give up who you are, so don’t do that.

 

I’m so far out of my comfort zone these days that I generally don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m ok with that because it’s personal growth and that’s what the entirety of one’s life is – evolving and changing with whatever life throws your way. You’re just trying to get to a place where you are content without being so rigid that you can’t bend a little when you figure out something new. Here’s to the end of 45 years of life and the start of the next 45.