Posted in English Class 101, Humor

They’re Only Words – Pronunciation Tips

I would like to take a moment to talk to you about the difference between loose and lose.

You lose your coat.  You lose your keys.  You lose your mind.  If you can’t figure that out, you have a few screws loose.

A woman who has a lot of sex may be considered loose, but not necessarily a loser, unless her vajayjay was made looser by sex with horses.

Got it?  Good.

Those lose/loose can almost be forgiven in writing.  Chalk it up to a typo.  I am OK  (and okay) with that.  However, there is no excuse for poor diction, not knowing the proper pronunciation of a word, or even using words that don’t exist.

My top 10 pet peeves when it comes to the English language, in no particular order:

1.  It is DUCT tape, not duck tape.

2.  You ASK questions, not axe them.

3.  You go to the LIBRARY, not the liebarry.

4.  Irregardless is not a word, REGARDLESS of what anyone says.

5.  There is no such place as “the Artic Circle”, at least not on the globe.  What a fun name for an art supply store!  It’s ARCTIC.   Pronounce that first C, please.

6.  HEIGHT does not end in “th”.  You measure the width, the depth and the HEIGHT, not the “heighth”.

7.  Any word that starts with ES that you erroneously pronounce “EX”,  bothers me.  You don’t “excape” the bad guys, you ESCAPE them,  ESPECIALLY if they are “expecially” scary looking.  Now please get me some ESPRESSO, “express-o”!   ET CETERA. (Abbreviated etc. not ect. or exct.)

8.  A mute point is when a person who can’t or doesn’t speak, points instead.  Whether they can’t speak or don’t speak is a moot point in this example.

9.  Nucular.  Sigh Say it with me, “New-clee-ur” as denoted by the spelling “nuclear”.

10.  The T in “OFTEN” is silent.  Write it, but don’t speak it.

BONUS:

**I learned this one today.  I have been schooled.

“My son is the spitting image of me.”  Really?  So, there’s a picture of you and it spits and you call that your son?  No.  He’s the SPIT AND IMAGE or just the SPIT IMAGE.  Pick one.  Don’t believe me?  Look it up.

This blog, “for all intensive purposes”  is now complete.  It is also complete for ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES.

What error in pronunciation (note:  not “pronounciation”) gets you all fired up?

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Mom - Check! Multiple Sclerosis awareness fanatic - Check! Total Dork - Check!

34 thoughts on “They’re Only Words – Pronunciation Tips

  1. I hate when people say death for deaf or sgetti instead of spagetti ,i used to say lenth instead of length ive corrected this and i dont know about where you live but for the last 2 years people up here prounounce s as sh its frigging stupid sounding and i wont do it to be trendy i have a very sharp s sound when i talk. So instead of stupid people say shtupid wtf!!!! im so old school hahaha good blog.

  2. I LOVE KIM THE GRAMMAR NAZI!!

    I’ve got to say that your Ask/Axe is one of my HUGEST pet peeves.
    I’ve been guilty of saying Expresso and catch myself every time I do it.

    I hate when people intentionally mispronounce words. My brother says “I’m going out to change my earl” instead of oil. Things like that. It was funny the first time, but 20 years later… not so much.

    XOXO

    1. Oh, my dear, dear Kimmy. *giggles*

      “Whichever pronunciation you use, you are correct! However, there are still some English speakers who criticize the pronunciation of often with a t-sound. If you absolutely want to “play it safe” and please everyone, pronounce often without the t-sound.”

      That from a website. It seems that the not-silent t pronunciation is acceptable, simply because people kept using it. Traitors. XOXO

  3. My mom used to say “comp-u-tition” instead of competition and she used to get PISSED at me when I’d correct her. I just wanted to make sure she didn’t appear ignernt. *grin*

    Bonus: “worsh” (wash) & “Missouruh” bug the piss out of me.

    1. My friend here used to say “tor-til – ee – uhs” because her mom did. I had to correct her. Cement/Seement gets me.

      Worsh reminds me of my grandma, although hers was more “wahrsh”.

      Bonus: You’re hot. XO

  4. “I wanna have my cake and eat it, too….” Go a head. That is possible, dummy. You can’t, however, “Eat your cake and have it, too….” The whole idea of this statement is having the best of both worlds. If you have it, then you eat it, that’s a process. If you eat it, then have it, it’s impossible. Or you have an eating disorder.

    1. I’m glad you got that out of your system!

      I don’t like people starting one and not finishing it. Like, “you know, the grass is always greener…”

      Finish the damn thing, unless you don’t know it. In which case shut the hell up.

  5. You already hit on one of my big ones…Nuclear!

    I hated how at my old job, my co-worker told people we were on “the melzannine” level not the mezzanine.

    supposebly…grinds my gnards!

    i have a very bad habit of correcting people when they don’t want to be corrected. It’s kind of hypocritical of me (especially when I point out typing errors, or misspelled typed words) because like everyone, I have my faults 🙂

  6. I caught myself saying expresso the other day. I stopped walking immediately and said to myself “Wait! What did I just say? *giggle*

    Since I live in N.C., I let the pronunciation thing go, mostly with my family. I try not to hangout with people who do not know how to speak correctly. 😉

    Although, here is something that gets me every time. Cannot is one word. Spell it that way, Miss Ph.D in English! A lot is two words. Spell it that way. How did you graduated college without knowing how to write, you educated freaks?

    Um, yeah. I’m done.

    1. I’m sure I probably do all of the above and then some. But this isn’t about me. *giggles*

      I will admit to struggling with cannot. Because do not, will not, cannot seems wrong. In fact, both are correct, depending on the context. *giggles*

  7. A few pet peeves of mine are as follows;

    Screet – Street
    Scrawberry – Strawberry
    Scrimp – Shrimp

    I also hate it when people add an S to things that shouldn’t have one, like “Walmarts”.

    1. Now Robin, we don’t hit. We can flick the ear or smack them on the back of their heads. I’ve never heard of that. BUT… my friend SWEARS that when you’re talking to a little kid, that “uh-ott” is a common phrase meaning “no no”. I’ve decided that 1) she’s a loon and 2) it’s some kind of odd Virginia thing to add a “T” at the end and they really mean “uh uh”.

      Is your mom from Mechanicsville?

  8. My husband can’t say fifth, he says fift. This makes me insane. I think it is because his mother was Polish and that side of the family pronounced a lot of words incorrectly. Feel free to correct me at any time. Though if I am using my cell, I make mistakes. Also, grammar was not my thing in school. I am a reader not a writer, but my science & math skills were awesome.

    1. I’ve decided I’m not so much about the grammar as I am about using proper forms of words, and apparently, saying them properly.

      I tend not to correct people I like (read: DORKAS)unless I do it for shits and grins. I just want people to be aware that it is irritating and to make a little more effort.

      I’ll take a fift of Jack Daniels, to go. XO

    2. I get the polish thing. My family is polish and my Grandfather used to pronounce the th wound like a “t” all the time when he was being silly or talking about his relatives. “tird” instead of third, “fift” instead of fifth..etc.

  9. I just read a blog written by an idiot conspiracy theorist, because he commented on a group page I created. I probably should have viewed his profile before I respond to him. However, I stumbled on another pet peeve of mine. I am of the opinion that if you are going to write, you should know how. Please know the difference between “then” and “than.” Ugh!

  10. in writing, all of the homonyms get to me and since I am an English teacher (though I’m sure you can’t always tell by my writing and responses), many words get on my nerves now…my latest is “ideal” for “idea”…

    ideal=something in perfection or a level of excellence (my definition)

    idea=a mental thought or concept(my definition)

    they are NOT the same words!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I overuse elypses…or however you spell that…

  11. I feel I shouldn’t comment, but you know me…

    I got called-out on Chili vs Chile a few days ago. I wondered why the media was pronouncing it all wrong. Oh well, fuck it, I was wrong. I think I flipped the bird at someone and pointed out the fact that I might be ignorant, but they would always be ugly.

    You gotta love white trash.

    XOXO

  12. I don’t think until the earthquake mess that MOST people knew the difference.

    I think you’re fucking awesome. Wrong is ok, because you know how to admit it. 🙂

  13. You would absolutely go insane if you lived in mt neck of the woods….western PA, tip of Appalachia….I had a communications professor in school that said that good communication was not necessarily grammatically correct but that which is best understood by the intended audience….

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