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Jesus wants me to get a Visa

I’m not a religious person.  I was raised and confirmed Lutheran.  I have nothing against Christianity.  I do believe in a God of some type.  But I’m no longer a 100% believer.  I think there are too many conveniences out there that need further explanation for me to fall back to the side of the fence with the rest of the flock.

However, one thing is certain.  In the past few days, I have received the messages loud and clear.  Wake up!  Pay attention!  Blah blah blah…hey, is that birthday cake?

Where was I?  Oh yes.  God is sending me messages.

The first one I received was on Monday.   I shrugged it off as spam.  It came in the form of an email with the subject:  “Get out of debt!  We’ll show you how!”  The contents of the email were blank.  The sender’s name?   Well, that doesn’t really matter.  Because I’m certain that God or Jesus do not have email addresses, so they would use a proxy anyhow.

Sign #2  came via a posting in FreeCycle, which I unsubscribed from 3 weeks ago.  It came on Tuesday.  It said:

OFFERED:  1 statue of Virgin Mary, 1 oil painting of Jesus in gold-finish frame … 1 old fashioned credit cart imprint machine…

There were other items listed such as a blanket, a jewelry box and some plastic laundry baskets.

There were no other FreeCycle listings before or since.  I previously received 100+ per day, so I know this isn’t a case of, “Oh, they didn’t get my unsubscribe email.”

Sign #3:

I logged onto Facebook this morning to do some poking around and I saw it, clear as day.  I knew then what the previous two days have been leading up to.  Jesus wants me to get a Visa.

What do you suppose the APR on a card like that is?



Mom - Check! Multiple Sclerosis awareness fanatic - Check! Total Dork - Check!

18 thoughts on “Jesus wants me to get a Visa

  1. Oh, Jesus.

    I bet he’s trying to tempt you to sell your soul to the devil. I mean, hell, that’s who runs the credit card companies. Beware!

    Happy still-could-be-your-birthday-if-you-were-born-after-2:00-pm-day! 😀

  2. So that’s who’s been bugging me.
    He wants me to get an enlarged penis, but here’s the kicker, he also wants me to get a boob job.
    He’s too fickle for me that one 🙂

  3. whoa…*searching the skies for things falling* that’s weird…but really, I think all credit cards are evil and the fact that Satan is trying to tempt you by using Jesus is comical too…did I tell you about the time they tried to scam me by sending me bogus money orders from the US Postal Service? Yeah…they wanted to send me extra money, cash it, et a new cashiers check and mail that to them then I would be out not only the money they said was mine to keep but also more than that…and so anyway, I took the money orders to the post office where they looked at the water mark and instead o the eagle…it was Jesus! SEE!!!! And it was those Nigerians using Jesus to try to scam me…whew! But I outsmarted them that time!

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