Posted in Humor

Reading Lists

I don’t understand these RPGs that kids play.  I’ve never been one to play a game of any type for much longer than a month or two. I  get bored.  It doesn’t matter if I’m playing with someone or playing alone.  Dakota plays World of Warcraft as well as some other shoot-em-up game that centers around a group of kids who go camping.  He refers to them as “campers and newbs”.  Apparently, the campers are evil little bastards that piss him off on a regular basis, as evidenced by him shouting into his headset every 2 minutes and 43 seconds, “God I HATE campers!  STUPID NEWBS!”

From what I can ascertain, they also have bad breath and you can tell this because of the “No Scope” he yells on occasion.  I think that’s an unfair characterization, because if they’re camping, they probably didn’t think to pack mouthwash.  Hell, we should just all be happy if they remember to brush their teeth!

I thought perhaps he was being a little harsh on these camping kids because he is more of an indoorsy kind of kid.  However, his best friend spends the weekend on a regular basis and he dislikes the campers as well.  Only he’s not quite as vocal about it.

In my effort to totally and completely understand this subculture that my stepson has become a part of, I’ve looked for a book that might introduce me to the wonders of RPG.  I think I’ve found one that will give me a good intro:

Next up, is my desire to do something a little more crafty.  Before the MS took over my hands, I used to enjoy cross stitching.  When I lost much of the feeling in my hands, I thought I could still do the cross stitch.  I tried.  Let me tell you that when you push that sharp little needle through, you generally know it’s through when you feel the light poke on the other end.  However, I didn’t feel the light poke and would often have to yank the needle out of my skin.  This, coupled with the blood thinners, made my works of art look like someone had used it to stop a bloody nose.

I decided I might like to try something like paper folding.  Only problem with that would be that I can’t stand the feel of paper.  OK, well how about puppetry?  There must be something I could do with the old marionette-type puppets, right?  I mean if I learned how to make my own puppets, and control them properly, perhaps I could put on shows for the neighborhood kids or something.  At the very least, maybe Josh would be entertained.

It usually helps when selecting a new hobby to start with something you’re interested in.  So, I combined my thoughts of origami and puppetry with my love of sex and found this gem:

Now, I’ve often bitched about the amount of dog hair left behind by my collie.  I’ve said if I could somehow find a use for the tumbleweeds, I might not be so angry about it.

I have also complained about the high price of clothes.  Those who know me well know that I simply HATE spending money on clothes.  Generally, I buy a plain black skirt and it lasts me for 10-15 years.  Seriously.  My socks are replaced once every 5 or 6 years.  So, I thought it would be a great idea if I learned how to make my own things.  Not only would it be economical, but it may help me with that whole needing something to do with my hands issue I have.  I started searching and searching for how to make things for a reasonable price.  I found an answer to both my dog hair and clothing issues:

Please note the “Stop Vacuuming and Start Knitting!” claim in the green starburst.  This appeals to the part of me that is really just above housework of all types.  I like it!

What are  YOU reading these days?



Mom - Check! Multiple Sclerosis awareness fanatic - Check! Total Dork - Check!

6 thoughts on “Reading Lists

  1. That’s funny. I learn something new about every time. Cross stitching might have been easier with a stitching frame…. Either way. Knitting with dog hair sounds interesting. Bella doesn’t really shed much though and even if she did I’d probably only get enough to make HER a scarf! I need to throw myself back into my crafts again soon. I’ve kinda put them to the side….

    1. I always used an embroidery hoop when I did my stitching. I didn’t realize how much I relied on sense of touch to do it. I’ll send you my Chloe’s fur. You can make yourself a fluffy hat.

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